How to deal with a stubborn or strong-willed spouse


When you have kids and have to deal with a strong-willed husband, it can be challenging. Your attention becomes divided as you try to fix issues with your husband and ensure your child doesn’t observe what is happening. Nevertheless, understanding how to deal with your strong-willed husband can go a long way. If you can understand their personality, you are a step closer to dealing with a strong-willed husband.

Dealing with Strong-willed Spouse

To help you, here are a few things you can do to deal with a strong-willed husband when raising kids. Raising kids is already a challenging process; you don’t have to include issues of a strong-willed husband.

Understand the reason behind the issue

You must understand that you and your husband have two separate personalities. You are two different individuals with personalities and perspectives. Therefore, instead of judging your husband for his action, understand the reason behind it. He might have grown up with the mentality at times, which has contributed to him being strong-willed.

Avoid Power Struggles

When you observe your spouse to be a strong-willed person, the first thing to do is to avoid anything that can cause power struggles. Most strong-willed people like to be right, which creates a subtle competition for them as they want to win. Therefore, ensure you avoid any issues in your relationship that will compromise the safety of your child.

In most situations, power struggles are a product of rules and routines. You can decide with your husband the rules that apply or not. Whenever a rule is violated, you can point it out to your husband. Remember, men want to be respected; so, if after violating the rule, you want to be polite.

Offer empathy – See things from their perspective

Most strong-willed husbands fight for respect. Your husband has a perspective that is making him act and behave in such a manner. Perhaps, he is protecting something important for his family. In reality, when your husband gets protective, he might be protecting his feeling, heart, and position.

You can help by listening and understand his own perspective. You don’t have to agree to their viewpoint, but a little value and respect can deflate things in the house. For instance, “Please, help me understand the reason…” can go a long way in resolving issues or conflicts. Remember, at times, if there is conflict at home, the child feels the impact.

Provide options for your strong-willed spouse

If your husband is the type that likes to be in charge of routines, schedule, etc., instead of opposing his decision, you can provide an option. For instance, your husband might have different ideas about spending holidays with the kids, and that can alter your expectation. Rather than feeling angry and opposing his decision, you can provide options. A better approach is to communicate why you needed the vocation.

For instance, you wanted a holiday for your kids with your grandmother, but he opposes.  You can provide options like the family should visit together, you send your kids over to see their grandmother. Here, you don’t take a defensive position but exploring every opportunity while respecting his decision. Remember, choices provide individuality and freedom.

Curb the strong-willed situation

Importantly, you don’t have to escalate the situation at home. Once you observe your husband to be a strong-willed person, you need to remain calm. You don’t have to fuel the situation when dealing with an angry partner. Arguing or confronting your husband might make him to be uncooperative and defensive.

To help, don’t react when things are tensed up. Take time to respond and calm him down. Communicate with your spouse openly as you try to de-escalate the situation. Most times, you have to put your children’s emotional states at the forefront before taking any decision.

Leverage your Husband’s Strong will

You have to appreciate your husband’s strong wiliness; it’s part of their strength. It offers your husband tenacity, perseverance, and courage to keep moving when things get tough. During the period of challenges and tragedy, your husband’s strong-willed nature can be the fan that flames the fire. Therefore, love your spouse irrespective of how strong-willed they might be.

See your strong-willed husband’s attitude as an advantage because most with this nature are natural leaders. Your husband might just be a survivor; understanding him can help you towards healthier communication, intimacy, and conflict resolution in your relationship.

Know when to take a break

Unfortunately, there are times all you have to do is to take a break. Things might get worse after you have done all you know. If your husband still disrespects you despite all the efforts and time, acts rude and angry, it is wise to take a break. If your husband doesn’t see his attitude affecting you and the kids, it is pointed that you need time off to clear your mind.

Studies have shown that the attitude of a father influences the child. Understandably, you have concerns for your child. While you decided to be with him for life, you don’t have to be a dumping ground. Perfection is at a different level, and if he chooses to remain stuck, you can’t do much. You can only take an elephant to the stream; you can’t force it to drink.


Dealing with a strong-willed husband when raising kids isn’t a pleasant situation. Your kids deserve a healthy and loving environment as they grow. Every relationship faces the litmus test but knowing when the test has failed is very important.

If you have a strong-willed husband, you can improve your relationship through the points mentioned above. However, when you’ve done all possible yet no substantial changes, it’s time to take a break.

Finally, remember, you can help your husband by asking him to go for therapy. Most times, it would help to resolve issues if he grew up in this manner. Are you dealing with a strong-willed husband? We do love to hear about your experience and how you handled the issue.

Leave a Reply